I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
