I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
