She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Alive.
So much puke
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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