I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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