Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
