so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
