i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
