It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
