Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
