I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
