If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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