But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
