I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
