if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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