mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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