so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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