He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
