he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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