if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
