Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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