Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
