I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
