I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
