This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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