well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I want to walk on stilts...naked
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
