i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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