When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
