She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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