He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i came on her dog
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
