He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
