gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
