k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
