Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
