I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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