I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
