Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
