playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
birth control should be required to get into college
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
