I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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