there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
