I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I want a musical about memes.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
