you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
