Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
