You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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