just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm too high and old for this...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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