he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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