That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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