the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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