I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
