you traded sex for a burrito?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I am one with the molecules
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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