my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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