found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
