Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
